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[wapples]

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Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

Can you pick up more chestnuts the next time before you come over? I'm running low and they're Cranky's favorite.

Video;

[wapples]

[The video flicks on to a far too close up look of Billie's face until a paw slaps down over the camera and gently pulls it back to a more reasonable view as his Omen comes to his assistance.]

I guess I could get you some chestnuts. There's all kinds around here. My rate's five gold coins a day, plus expenses.

[Just because he's been turned down before, and had it explained to him that currency isn't actually a thing in Trench, doesn't mean he's going to stop trying. He's still going to try to maintain some standards, after all. Besides, maybe it was a lie.]

Who's Cranky, anyway?

[survivalthroughhate]

[Oh, Maul remembers that face. The little boy that adores cats. He'd been so nice to Maul when he was one. (The animals he's not turned into under the eyes of Pthumerians is starting to get higher than he would like.) Still, he'll be more gentle than he normally is with people.]

Ah, you aren't the one this message was intended for. But if you would like to do me a favor and bring some to me, I shall give you....two gold coins.

[Gotta haggle!]

Cranky is an animal that belongs to me. He is what is called a Pokémon and his species is called a Mankey.

[Upon hearing his name, Cranky leaps onto Maul's back, something the Sith Lord is used to by now. He's actually about the same size and weight as Billie himself. He sniffs the Omni screen curiously with his little pig-like nose before he settles down.]

Say hello, Cranky.

[Cranky lets out a screech that indeed means hello and waves his paw towards Billie.]

[wapples]

[Billie considers the offer thoughtfully. Realistically, it won't take him all day to gather some chestnuts and drop them off to Maul, and he's not vehemently opposed to a bit of negotiation.]

Two gold coins and two chocolate croissants.

[His attention is immediately pulled away by the appearance of the Mankey. He is about the most bizarre creature Billie has seen, but there's something also very cute about him, and the way he screeches and waves hello. Of course Billie waves back immediately.]

Oh, he's so cool! Hi, Cranky!

[survivalthroughhate]

Done.

[He doesn't keep sugary things in the house except for a few non-perishables for when guests of a more human persuasion are about but he can have some croissants delivered from the local bakery for the young boy.]

I suppose cool is one word to describe him.

[Though Maul himself would be more likely to go with "holy terror" given all the headaches he's put his owner through. At least he's behaving marginally better these days.]

[wapples]

Well, I think he's cool.

[Look, he's obviously a creature of pure and utter chaos, and as far as Billie is concerned, that translates to absolutely delightful.]

He doesn't even look cranky at all.

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, he's got this very distinctive glare when he gets mad, and with red eyes no less. He fits his name more at times like that.

[He also tends to bear a shocking resemblance to Maul when he does so. Like owner, like pet.]

[wapples]

Oh. Well. What makes him mad?

Gift Delivery - December 25th

[survivalthroughhate]

[This year, Maul had decided to behave himself when it came to giving gifts, unlike in years past where he broke into people's houses rather like Santa himself did. All gifts are left on the porch or front step of the recipient's home for them to find in the morning.

Since he was getting Vyng a gift, he felt it would be rude to exclude his son. So one of the gifts on the porch is left for Billie, a small realistic cat stuffed animal. Accompanying it was a note in blocky handwriting wishing the boy a Merry Christmas signed from Darth Maul.]

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, I once stepped on his tail, and I didn't realize he'd take it so to heart when I didn't give him an apology for it. He broke almost everything breakable in my house, including me!

[wapples]

[Billie, of course, adores the plush cat. Anything soft and fluffy would have been a huge hit. It will go to bed with him every night. Of course he reaches out through the network to say thank you, and the swaying movement of the camera probably makes it pretty clear it's his Omen doing the recording as she sizes up the stuffed interloper clutched in Billie's arms.]

You got me a present? You didn't have to do that! Thanks! I love it a lot. You could've come inside, though, you didn't have to leave it on the porch.

[wapples]

[This doesn't feel like as much as an over reaction as Maul makes it sound like. In fact, it feels pretty clear to Billie what should have happened.]

Well, you're supposed to apologize when you hurt someone. Especially when you didn't mean to.

[survivalthroughhate]

I didn't realize that at the time.

[Maul was very much emotionally underdeveloped. It took talking to Snow White to realize just how mad that had made Cranky.]

He takes such things very personally.

[survivalthroughhate]

Maybe I didn't but I wanted to.

[Billie was a sweet kid and had managed to keep his innocence despite living in such a grim place as Trench. Someone like that was worth being kind to.]

I have done that in years past but not everyone has appreciated me sneaking into their homes. So that's why I went with the porch today.

[wapples]

So do I. Like this one time, this guy that owned this store tried to make me go away so he could talk to Tuck and Vyng without me there so I stole some poison from him. So you should be nice to people so they don't get tempted to be mean to you, or steal your stuff.

[Sage advice from a nine year old.]

[wapples]

Well... I don't think Tuck or Vyng would mind much. Or... you could, like, knock on the door and see if they're home and then get invited in.

[survivalthroughhate]

Sound advice.

[Maul said, nodding in agreement. He also didn't see anything wrong with Billie stealing poison from the store owner either. When he had been the same age as the youngster, he would have done the exact same thing.]

Though being nice can be difficult sometimes, I have striving to be so more often.

[survivalthroughhate]

I shall remember that for next year.

[Apparently, some people's boundaries involved not minding if they had their homes broken into, something that was now added to the advice he'd been given not to do that at all.]

I could but that defeats the purpose of leaving presents with stealth. If I can do it without anyone noticing, then I have put my skills to good use.

[wapples]

That's what Charles does, anyway. But he breaks your window so he can leave your presents inside.

[He shrugs a little. Maul probably already knows that story - doesn't everyone?]

I still want to fight him some day, but he's really sneaky. Like me and you!

[wapples]

Well, that's why you gotta practice. It gets easier to be nice if you practice a lot.

[survivalthroughhate]

Who is Charles?

[He sounded like a relative of Santa Claus by that description.]

Is it a tradition to fight him in your world?

[survivalthroughhate]

I shall take those words to heart.

[He wasn't even being sarcastic. Children never had any reason to lie to him, so Maul believed them far more than the adults that usually surrounded him.]